Here's what's on my mind today: how do you know where God wants you to focus your energy? I'm talking the BIG picture here. Aside from being a good wife and mother (and all the "jobs" that fall under those two categories), how does God want me to use the rest of my time? And, maybe even more on target, how do you know if the thing you're doing is THE thing God wants you to be focusing your energies on? I guess this post is all about our calling. How do we know when we're following where He's trying to lead us?!
Why am I pondering such things today? This whole concept has been on my heart for a few months, and lately it seems to rise to the surface daily. I guess that means this is, in fact, something God is trying to guide me in. He wants my attention. (Well, He certainly has it.) I've had lots of moments lately of thinking that God has blessed me with certain gifts, and it would be silly (and even sinful) to not make use of the gifts He's given me. I believe that we all are called by God for something. Every Christian. I know that the season of life I'm primarily in right now is motherhood. And, even more specifically, being a homeschool Mom. Already the reward has been great. Already my faith has been boosted by how closely I've had to stay to my Abba Father since beginning this journey. Any amount of success that has come into our lives during this homeschooling journey, has come because of God's blessing and direction. It has been a fun ride with God, and I don't expect that to change anytime soon!
I know that being called to be a homeschool Mom is huge in and of itself. I am not in any way downplaying that. But here's the rest of the story: my role as "wife" and "homeschool mom" aren't the only roles I have. I am also a part-time bank teller and a part-time Shaklee distributor. These are things that, when I'm doing them, take me away from that first calling of homeschool Mom. It's worked OK so far, but I'm not totally sure just where those two things fit into my life as of late. Each of them in a certain way fulfills something that I know I'm gifted in, yet I don't feel "called" to do either of them right now. In fact, in some ways, I'm getting very resentful that I even HAVE to do them! Is this just a heart issue that I need to deal with, or does it mean it's time to move on? I do feel called by God to write and encourage others. But then there's the whole financial aspect of it all. How does God want me to bring an income into this family right now? Or does He? How do I know if I'm just wanting to close the door on something because it's become too hard or uncomfortable, versus truly feeling that God is calling me to use my time elsewhere? Is God wanting me to continue learning things from the bank and from Shaklee that He'll later use in other ways? Oh how I want clear direction on this.
I don't want to just be "busy." I hate that. But, of course, with 3 children we are plenty busy all the time. I certainly don't have to seek for ways to be busy...I have to seek for ways to say "no" and slow down the train every once in a while. Is it just society that we're all so busy and frazzled all the time...or is it just the fact that I'm now the parent instead of the kid? I mean, I remember when I was little actually feeling bored. When was the last time you were bored? Seriously. Bored? Does such a thing exist anymore? I would love to be bored. Just give me 30 minutes of boredom...I could handle that! Am I trying to get a handle on the "busyness" or am I being lazy? I am struggling with every aspect of this right now.
I guess until I sense God throwing one door open wide or closing another, I'll just continue to pray and stay on the current course. I just can't help feeling lately that this isn't it. That God has other plans for me. Maybe He does and now is just not the right time? Maybe I have more to learn first? All I can do for now is do my best to daily bring glory and honor to His name in all that I do. Even if "all" I do is be a wife to Dave; a Mom to Luke, Mikayla, and Hannah; and a friend and encourager to whoever He puts into my path...oh and sometimes my "path" comes by way of the bank and Shaklee. (Not to mention try to do a good job of taking care of myself.) Not too shabby of a "calling" when I put it like that. But I still can't help feeling that this isn't all God has in store for me "when I grow up." Hmmmm....going to have to keep praying about that one.
Why am I pondering such things today? This whole concept has been on my heart for a few months, and lately it seems to rise to the surface daily. I guess that means this is, in fact, something God is trying to guide me in. He wants my attention. (Well, He certainly has it.) I've had lots of moments lately of thinking that God has blessed me with certain gifts, and it would be silly (and even sinful) to not make use of the gifts He's given me. I believe that we all are called by God for something. Every Christian. I know that the season of life I'm primarily in right now is motherhood. And, even more specifically, being a homeschool Mom. Already the reward has been great. Already my faith has been boosted by how closely I've had to stay to my Abba Father since beginning this journey. Any amount of success that has come into our lives during this homeschooling journey, has come because of God's blessing and direction. It has been a fun ride with God, and I don't expect that to change anytime soon!
I know that being called to be a homeschool Mom is huge in and of itself. I am not in any way downplaying that. But here's the rest of the story: my role as "wife" and "homeschool mom" aren't the only roles I have. I am also a part-time bank teller and a part-time Shaklee distributor. These are things that, when I'm doing them, take me away from that first calling of homeschool Mom. It's worked OK so far, but I'm not totally sure just where those two things fit into my life as of late. Each of them in a certain way fulfills something that I know I'm gifted in, yet I don't feel "called" to do either of them right now. In fact, in some ways, I'm getting very resentful that I even HAVE to do them! Is this just a heart issue that I need to deal with, or does it mean it's time to move on? I do feel called by God to write and encourage others. But then there's the whole financial aspect of it all. How does God want me to bring an income into this family right now? Or does He? How do I know if I'm just wanting to close the door on something because it's become too hard or uncomfortable, versus truly feeling that God is calling me to use my time elsewhere? Is God wanting me to continue learning things from the bank and from Shaklee that He'll later use in other ways? Oh how I want clear direction on this.
I don't want to just be "busy." I hate that. But, of course, with 3 children we are plenty busy all the time. I certainly don't have to seek for ways to be busy...I have to seek for ways to say "no" and slow down the train every once in a while. Is it just society that we're all so busy and frazzled all the time...or is it just the fact that I'm now the parent instead of the kid? I mean, I remember when I was little actually feeling bored. When was the last time you were bored? Seriously. Bored? Does such a thing exist anymore? I would love to be bored. Just give me 30 minutes of boredom...I could handle that! Am I trying to get a handle on the "busyness" or am I being lazy? I am struggling with every aspect of this right now.
I guess until I sense God throwing one door open wide or closing another, I'll just continue to pray and stay on the current course. I just can't help feeling lately that this isn't it. That God has other plans for me. Maybe He does and now is just not the right time? Maybe I have more to learn first? All I can do for now is do my best to daily bring glory and honor to His name in all that I do. Even if "all" I do is be a wife to Dave; a Mom to Luke, Mikayla, and Hannah; and a friend and encourager to whoever He puts into my path...oh and sometimes my "path" comes by way of the bank and Shaklee. (Not to mention try to do a good job of taking care of myself.) Not too shabby of a "calling" when I put it like that. But I still can't help feeling that this isn't all God has in store for me "when I grow up." Hmmmm....going to have to keep praying about that one.
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