As I'm getting ready to start wrapping Christmas presents, I have to share this with you: I'm feeling a bit like a Christmas present myself. I know, I know. I have lots of splaining to do on this one. Check it out:
I'm on an incredible journey right now. Not only am I losing weight (which I've done before to certain degrees), I'm also changing my thought life. In particular: my personal self-talk. God is not only slowly transforming my body, but He's doing a BIG work in my head as well. This is where I'm starting to feel like a Christmas present. Maybe the image should be more of comparing my journey to the layers of an onion (or an avocado, or a rose petal), but for the current time of year a Christmas present just seemed more appropriate. Let me continue...
What is it about opening a present that we all get so excited about? It's finding out the surprise within the wrapping paper. Right? Finding out the unknown (and knowing that most likely you're going to be VERY happy with what you find inside) is very exciting! That's where I feel like I am with God on this health journey right now. I am slowly being introduced to a new me. A me that I've always hoped was in there, but just never could seem to get all the necessary elements to align themselves at the right time to find her!
I am someone that has been overweight (literally) my whole life. Picture my little Hannah but with a chubby face (and chubby everything else, for that matter) and you have what I looked like as a little girl. There has never been a time in my life where I could be considered thin. Never. In fact, even the thinner times of my youth where I look back now and wonder why I thought I was overweight...I was TOLD by others (many within my own family) that I WAS fat. Along with never being thin, I've also never had a healthy self-image. It was learned behavior from my Mom as well as acquired because of how I was treated growing up. Both of these things combined to make one pretty messed up adult! In the past when I've had minor success at weight loss, I've never had much success at overcoming the head stuff. I've always been my own worst enemy. I've always spent the whole weight loss journey telling myself all these lies...and then proceeding to make the lies a reality. But THIS time, things are different. God has lovingly gotten ahold of my head. He's gently pointing out the areas that I need to improve on. He's graciously allowing me one-step-at-a-time victory. This time IS different!
So as I walk through this journey with myself and God, every little victory - both in my body & my head - is cause for excitement. It's God revealing a side of me I've never met before! It feels very much like I'm slowly unwrapping the best Christmas present ever...me!! Shedding the pounds and the emotional baggage is so incredibly freeing. In fact, shedding the emotional baggage is WAY more freeing at this point than the weight is. God is getting some very huge monkeys off my back! He's truly done a 180 transformation in the way I treat myself.
I know that the road ahead to my goal weight is still very long. But as I watch my total weight loss hit 19 pounds (hoping for 6 more down by the end of the year), I can actually start to imagine myself at that goal. There are many small goals between here and there: things like being down to what I weighed when I got married before we go to Florida in March, building up enough physical endurance that I can run the 10K with my husband in May, seeing the 50 pound mark by Memorial Day, fitting into a gorgeous new sleeveless dress (in a MUCH smaller size) for my nephew's wedding next July, etc. Each of these goals is exciting! And scary. And filled with a lot of hard work between now and when they're achieved.
For today, I'm just so thankful for the success of the journey so far. I've had my many bumps in the road so far and know that there are certainly many more ahead. But God is doing a BIG work! And this girl is excited for each new thing He reveals!
I'm on an incredible journey right now. Not only am I losing weight (which I've done before to certain degrees), I'm also changing my thought life. In particular: my personal self-talk. God is not only slowly transforming my body, but He's doing a BIG work in my head as well. This is where I'm starting to feel like a Christmas present. Maybe the image should be more of comparing my journey to the layers of an onion (or an avocado, or a rose petal), but for the current time of year a Christmas present just seemed more appropriate. Let me continue...
What is it about opening a present that we all get so excited about? It's finding out the surprise within the wrapping paper. Right? Finding out the unknown (and knowing that most likely you're going to be VERY happy with what you find inside) is very exciting! That's where I feel like I am with God on this health journey right now. I am slowly being introduced to a new me. A me that I've always hoped was in there, but just never could seem to get all the necessary elements to align themselves at the right time to find her!
I am someone that has been overweight (literally) my whole life. Picture my little Hannah but with a chubby face (and chubby everything else, for that matter) and you have what I looked like as a little girl. There has never been a time in my life where I could be considered thin. Never. In fact, even the thinner times of my youth where I look back now and wonder why I thought I was overweight...I was TOLD by others (many within my own family) that I WAS fat. Along with never being thin, I've also never had a healthy self-image. It was learned behavior from my Mom as well as acquired because of how I was treated growing up. Both of these things combined to make one pretty messed up adult! In the past when I've had minor success at weight loss, I've never had much success at overcoming the head stuff. I've always been my own worst enemy. I've always spent the whole weight loss journey telling myself all these lies...and then proceeding to make the lies a reality. But THIS time, things are different. God has lovingly gotten ahold of my head. He's gently pointing out the areas that I need to improve on. He's graciously allowing me one-step-at-a-time victory. This time IS different!
So as I walk through this journey with myself and God, every little victory - both in my body & my head - is cause for excitement. It's God revealing a side of me I've never met before! It feels very much like I'm slowly unwrapping the best Christmas present ever...me!! Shedding the pounds and the emotional baggage is so incredibly freeing. In fact, shedding the emotional baggage is WAY more freeing at this point than the weight is. God is getting some very huge monkeys off my back! He's truly done a 180 transformation in the way I treat myself.
I know that the road ahead to my goal weight is still very long. But as I watch my total weight loss hit 19 pounds (hoping for 6 more down by the end of the year), I can actually start to imagine myself at that goal. There are many small goals between here and there: things like being down to what I weighed when I got married before we go to Florida in March, building up enough physical endurance that I can run the 10K with my husband in May, seeing the 50 pound mark by Memorial Day, fitting into a gorgeous new sleeveless dress (in a MUCH smaller size) for my nephew's wedding next July, etc. Each of these goals is exciting! And scary. And filled with a lot of hard work between now and when they're achieved.
For today, I'm just so thankful for the success of the journey so far. I've had my many bumps in the road so far and know that there are certainly many more ahead. But God is doing a BIG work! And this girl is excited for each new thing He reveals!
Great job, Jen! You look great!! I meant to tell you that the other day!
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