Snow!! It's been one of those rare occasions where the meteorologists have been talking up this storm like it was going to be huge...and it really was! Last night there was so much snowing and blowing and drifting and white-outs just outside our bedroom window, that we slept with the curtains open so we could watch the show throughout the night. That howling wind woke me up a few times and all I could say as I looked out the window was, "Wow!". Truly amazing.
Then Dave and I were like kids on Christmas morning as we woke up and started seeing the 3-4 foot drifts in our driveway. And we watched with hilarity as our dog assessed the unusual situation and wasn't quite sure just WHERE he was supposed to go to the bathroom amidst all that white stuff.
After an hour + of Dave snow blowing our driveway (while I watched with coffee mug in hand under the covers in our room with the local news on the TV), Dave came inside and we continued to watch the scene out our bedroom window: neighbors clearing their driveways, cars getting stuck, neighbors coming to the rescue of the cars that were getting stuck. Who knew our little street could be so interesting so early in the morning!
I sit here now with my thoughts kind of all over the place. A lot of my "jumbled-ness" is due to the fact that I've spent a large chunk of the afternoon enjoying some time reading in my comfy chair covered up with a blanket. The house was quiet (Dave was napping, the kids were playing with friends). For about 3 hours it was just me and the Corrie ten Boom story "Hiding Place". Have you read it? I'm ashamed to say this is the first time for me.
My interest in reading it is because of the movie "The Return to the Hiding Place" (also a Corrie ten Boom book) which will be coming out this summer. It was filmed some in Holland and Manistee. Friends of ours have kids who were extras in the film. My kids might have also had that opportunity, but it was all happening at the same time as my Dad's 3-week hospital stay last July (horrible timing obviously). Anyway, I wanted to educate myself on the story before the movie comes out. I also want to educate the kids on the story, so I was thrilled to find a short book and unit study on Corrie ten Boom at the homeschool convention I went to last weekend. You know how it is once you get your mind on something? Well for the last week or so, I've seen things on Corrie ten Boom everywhere! From friends quoting her on Facebook to her name being mentioned at the convention...her name keeps popping up.
So besides feeling the horror of how Corrie was treated during her time of imprisonment, I've been really struck this afternoon with the reality of her faith. I mean, I guess that's where the rubber really meets the road. When you're put into a situation that is 100% out of your control...the only place we (as Christians) can turn is to God. The worse Corrie's situation seemed, the more she clung to the Truths of God's Word. In those moments where all she probably wanted to do was toss up her hands and cry out in despair, her faith was put into action. Or rather, she believed without fail so that God could go into action.
Then that got me to thinking about some of the truths that Lysa TerKeurst has been unpacking in her study "Made to Crave" the last week or so. A lot of what has been hitting me right smack between the eyes is the realization that for too many years, I have sat around waiting for God to make my weight loss journey easy. I was waiting for Him to turn on some magic switch and for me to not have be made too uncomfortable on the road to a healthier me. I was like a gardener who didn't put in all the time weeding and watering...but just wanted this lavishly beautiful flower garden. It doesn't work that way obviously. Yet, somewhere in the recesses of my brain, I thought it was supposed to be that way for me on this health journey. The comment about us doing the "natural" so that God can do the "super"...that's what Corrie ten Boom did. She did what was in her power to do so that God could work through her in a supernatural way.
Since it's a new month, that means it was time for my next "official" weigh-in yesterday. I have been regularly stepping on the scale over the last month, but I haven't actually written my weight down. Well, much to my dismay (but not my surprise, since I've been stepping on that scale all throughout the month), I didn't lose a single pound since my last weigh-in. Not a one. Oh boy. That was NOT what I wanted to be able to write down. In fact, I haven't written it down yet. I am refusing to write the weight down on my tracker until I've lost at least 1 pound. I just can't bear to write the exact same weight as I did a month ago! Can't do it.
What does this mean? Well, to the old me, this would have meant it was time to give up. It would be proof that this weight loss thing is just too hard. Just too impossible for me. I may as well resign myself to the fact that I'll always be a fat girl. Get used to the fact that I wasn't meant to be thin. Take heart in the fact that at least I have gone down 25 pounds and two pant sizes. That will just have to be enough!
Well, not this time, friends. I am busy today having an internal argument. In fact, I've fueled this internal argument with caving into some foods I know I shouldn't have had (Daddy's pancakes, the neighbors traditional "snow day doughnuts"). It's almost like that doubting mini-me who sits on my shoulder wanted to have one more big shot today to scream into my ear: "See. I told you so! You just need to give up the fight now. It's over. This is always going to be your issue!"
Can you tell I'm frustrated with myself? I'm frustrated that I didn't lose any weight for an entire month. I'm frustrated that I continue to fall into food cravings that I know are just going to make me be full of guilt and shame when I'm done eating them. I'm frustrated that after 25 pounds lost and almost 4 months into this journey, I'm still taken down by some of the same schemes of the enemy. But most of all...I'm frustrated that during these moments I didn't behave like Corrie ten Boom. I didn't filter all I was feeling through the Truth of Scripture. I didn't dig into my Bible or my verse cards and come up with some great verses to fight back with. I didn't do all I could naturally do so that God could do the super part. I didn't persevere.
So rather than sit here right now and have a mini pity party for myself because all of this "stuff" is hard. I'm going to rejoice in the journey. I'm going to be thankful for the opportunity to gain self-control and perseverance. I'm going to be thankful that this journey is not over just because I made some mistakes and had a bad weigh in. This journey is about SO much more than the number on the scale or the size clothes on my body. This journey is a spiritual one. It's one that means I get to have a more intimate and personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe. I get to become more and more like His Son! I get to. Wow.
Oh, friends. Did you hear that? We get to know Him better! We get to become more like Him! That is worth every frustrating moment. It's a precious gift given directly to us by our Jehovah God. Just like all that snow that fell last night. A precious gift. How we choose to look at it? Well, that's up to us.
2 Peter 1:5-7 ~ For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith, goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to kindness, love.
Then Dave and I were like kids on Christmas morning as we woke up and started seeing the 3-4 foot drifts in our driveway. And we watched with hilarity as our dog assessed the unusual situation and wasn't quite sure just WHERE he was supposed to go to the bathroom amidst all that white stuff.
After an hour + of Dave snow blowing our driveway (while I watched with coffee mug in hand under the covers in our room with the local news on the TV), Dave came inside and we continued to watch the scene out our bedroom window: neighbors clearing their driveways, cars getting stuck, neighbors coming to the rescue of the cars that were getting stuck. Who knew our little street could be so interesting so early in the morning!
I sit here now with my thoughts kind of all over the place. A lot of my "jumbled-ness" is due to the fact that I've spent a large chunk of the afternoon enjoying some time reading in my comfy chair covered up with a blanket. The house was quiet (Dave was napping, the kids were playing with friends). For about 3 hours it was just me and the Corrie ten Boom story "Hiding Place". Have you read it? I'm ashamed to say this is the first time for me.
My interest in reading it is because of the movie "The Return to the Hiding Place" (also a Corrie ten Boom book) which will be coming out this summer. It was filmed some in Holland and Manistee. Friends of ours have kids who were extras in the film. My kids might have also had that opportunity, but it was all happening at the same time as my Dad's 3-week hospital stay last July (horrible timing obviously). Anyway, I wanted to educate myself on the story before the movie comes out. I also want to educate the kids on the story, so I was thrilled to find a short book and unit study on Corrie ten Boom at the homeschool convention I went to last weekend. You know how it is once you get your mind on something? Well for the last week or so, I've seen things on Corrie ten Boom everywhere! From friends quoting her on Facebook to her name being mentioned at the convention...her name keeps popping up.
So besides feeling the horror of how Corrie was treated during her time of imprisonment, I've been really struck this afternoon with the reality of her faith. I mean, I guess that's where the rubber really meets the road. When you're put into a situation that is 100% out of your control...the only place we (as Christians) can turn is to God. The worse Corrie's situation seemed, the more she clung to the Truths of God's Word. In those moments where all she probably wanted to do was toss up her hands and cry out in despair, her faith was put into action. Or rather, she believed without fail so that God could go into action.
Then that got me to thinking about some of the truths that Lysa TerKeurst has been unpacking in her study "Made to Crave" the last week or so. A lot of what has been hitting me right smack between the eyes is the realization that for too many years, I have sat around waiting for God to make my weight loss journey easy. I was waiting for Him to turn on some magic switch and for me to not have be made too uncomfortable on the road to a healthier me. I was like a gardener who didn't put in all the time weeding and watering...but just wanted this lavishly beautiful flower garden. It doesn't work that way obviously. Yet, somewhere in the recesses of my brain, I thought it was supposed to be that way for me on this health journey. The comment about us doing the "natural" so that God can do the "super"...that's what Corrie ten Boom did. She did what was in her power to do so that God could work through her in a supernatural way.
Since it's a new month, that means it was time for my next "official" weigh-in yesterday. I have been regularly stepping on the scale over the last month, but I haven't actually written my weight down. Well, much to my dismay (but not my surprise, since I've been stepping on that scale all throughout the month), I didn't lose a single pound since my last weigh-in. Not a one. Oh boy. That was NOT what I wanted to be able to write down. In fact, I haven't written it down yet. I am refusing to write the weight down on my tracker until I've lost at least 1 pound. I just can't bear to write the exact same weight as I did a month ago! Can't do it.
What does this mean? Well, to the old me, this would have meant it was time to give up. It would be proof that this weight loss thing is just too hard. Just too impossible for me. I may as well resign myself to the fact that I'll always be a fat girl. Get used to the fact that I wasn't meant to be thin. Take heart in the fact that at least I have gone down 25 pounds and two pant sizes. That will just have to be enough!
Well, not this time, friends. I am busy today having an internal argument. In fact, I've fueled this internal argument with caving into some foods I know I shouldn't have had (Daddy's pancakes, the neighbors traditional "snow day doughnuts"). It's almost like that doubting mini-me who sits on my shoulder wanted to have one more big shot today to scream into my ear: "See. I told you so! You just need to give up the fight now. It's over. This is always going to be your issue!"
Can you tell I'm frustrated with myself? I'm frustrated that I didn't lose any weight for an entire month. I'm frustrated that I continue to fall into food cravings that I know are just going to make me be full of guilt and shame when I'm done eating them. I'm frustrated that after 25 pounds lost and almost 4 months into this journey, I'm still taken down by some of the same schemes of the enemy. But most of all...I'm frustrated that during these moments I didn't behave like Corrie ten Boom. I didn't filter all I was feeling through the Truth of Scripture. I didn't dig into my Bible or my verse cards and come up with some great verses to fight back with. I didn't do all I could naturally do so that God could do the super part. I didn't persevere.
So rather than sit here right now and have a mini pity party for myself because all of this "stuff" is hard. I'm going to rejoice in the journey. I'm going to be thankful for the opportunity to gain self-control and perseverance. I'm going to be thankful that this journey is not over just because I made some mistakes and had a bad weigh in. This journey is about SO much more than the number on the scale or the size clothes on my body. This journey is a spiritual one. It's one that means I get to have a more intimate and personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe. I get to become more and more like His Son! I get to. Wow.
Oh, friends. Did you hear that? We get to know Him better! We get to become more like Him! That is worth every frustrating moment. It's a precious gift given directly to us by our Jehovah God. Just like all that snow that fell last night. A precious gift. How we choose to look at it? Well, that's up to us.
2 Peter 1:5-7 ~ For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith, goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to kindness, love.
The Hiding Place is one of my favorite books! I would recommend watching the movie also and the audio book from focus on the family! You'll love both of them!
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