Apparently, I'm still a little girl inside. Sometimes things happen in life that make the internal struggles of growing up feel like they just happened yesterday. Didn't we all have those struggles? Wanting to fit in. Wondering who liked you and who didn't. Wanting to be accepted and loved by our peers.
Yep. I'm sure we all had those feelings growing up. And we probably all still have them now.
What I'm kind of surprised at is how easily I can still get my feelings hurt.
I've only worked two shifts at my new part-time job at the mall. (Just saying that makes me sound like I'm back in high school, doesn't it?) Well, I don't know whether it was how tired I got hustling around the store for four hours, or the fact that I was a bit under the weather, or if I really did just have the whole "I want my new co-workers to like me but I don't think they do" scenario running through my head...but I was kind of an emotional mess when I got home last night!
What shocked me about it is that I really thought I had grown out of this issue. I mean, yes, I've been a bit shy my whole life and I still tend to be on the reserved end of things (unless I really feel comfortable around you, and then I wouldn't say I'm shy or reserved at all). But I really thought I had this issue beat. In several areas of life I've chosen the road less traveled...which means I don't expect to "fit in."
For instance: we're homeschoolers. That in and of itself means I have to firmly stand on my convictions in this area and be ready when those naysayers come along. Another area we take the road less traveled is our way of nurturing health & wellness in our family. We have chosen to build health through natural supplements and regular chiropractic adjustments (and eating right, exercising, etc.). Many of those we meet are regularly running to the doctor for this sickness or that drug and relying on pharmaceuticals to keep their family healthy. We don't do that. I've learned lots of great health & wellness principles over the last 20 years that we turn to instead of drugs. Most people think that's strange. So again - I stand firm.
And what about the fact that we're Christians? I think that's the most untraveled road around lately! Even many I know who call themselves Christians seem to not be walking the straight and narrow that I believe we are called to walk. The path the Bible has clearly laid out for us. So we not only have to stand firm against the world. Sometimes, we have to stand firm in the midst of other "believers."
Whew! That's a lot of standing firm! You'd think I'd be a pro at this by now! But I guess standing firm gets a little draining. Sometimes...I'd still like to just fit in. Oh, but that would mean compromising on my convictions, and that - that just isn't going to happen.
Want to know what I think God wants me to do? I should make every effort on a daily basis to show love to everyone I meet. Why? Because that's the heart of the issue. That's what made me feel like I did yesterday. I wasn't feeling accepted. I wasn't feeling appreciated. I wasn't feeling loved. Are we called to show love to people we don't even know but just come into contact with in our daily lives? You bet! The Bible obviously tells us to love our neighbors as ourself. Well, I don't know about you and your neighbors...but there are many people I'd consider my neighbors who are still strangers to me. You too? Well, there you go.
God made it clear that He wanted me to stop worrying about myself. So what if I didn't get lots of warm fuzzies yesterday. That's not what my daily life should be about. I'm supposed to focus on bringing glory to Him through my interactions with others. Every. Single. Day.
And you know what else? If the people from yesterday weren't believers...then my focus really ought to be on how I can reach out to them (not how they should be reaching out to me). Every morning when my feet hit the ground, my goal should be to spread the light of Jesus to everyone I have the privilege of interacting with. God is bringing people into my life for a reason. And it's not...about...me.
Maybe it means I have to show love to the unlovely (I believe God calls that loving your enemies). Maybe it means I have to get over my own insecurities to possibly be the one person showing kindness and love to that other person today. And who cares if it means I have to be brave and stand firm on my convictions. I ought to be getting used to that by now anyway!
Yep. I'm sure we all had those feelings growing up. And we probably all still have them now.
What I'm kind of surprised at is how easily I can still get my feelings hurt.
I've only worked two shifts at my new part-time job at the mall. (Just saying that makes me sound like I'm back in high school, doesn't it?) Well, I don't know whether it was how tired I got hustling around the store for four hours, or the fact that I was a bit under the weather, or if I really did just have the whole "I want my new co-workers to like me but I don't think they do" scenario running through my head...but I was kind of an emotional mess when I got home last night!
What shocked me about it is that I really thought I had grown out of this issue. I mean, yes, I've been a bit shy my whole life and I still tend to be on the reserved end of things (unless I really feel comfortable around you, and then I wouldn't say I'm shy or reserved at all). But I really thought I had this issue beat. In several areas of life I've chosen the road less traveled...which means I don't expect to "fit in."
For instance: we're homeschoolers. That in and of itself means I have to firmly stand on my convictions in this area and be ready when those naysayers come along. Another area we take the road less traveled is our way of nurturing health & wellness in our family. We have chosen to build health through natural supplements and regular chiropractic adjustments (and eating right, exercising, etc.). Many of those we meet are regularly running to the doctor for this sickness or that drug and relying on pharmaceuticals to keep their family healthy. We don't do that. I've learned lots of great health & wellness principles over the last 20 years that we turn to instead of drugs. Most people think that's strange. So again - I stand firm.
And what about the fact that we're Christians? I think that's the most untraveled road around lately! Even many I know who call themselves Christians seem to not be walking the straight and narrow that I believe we are called to walk. The path the Bible has clearly laid out for us. So we not only have to stand firm against the world. Sometimes, we have to stand firm in the midst of other "believers."
Whew! That's a lot of standing firm! You'd think I'd be a pro at this by now! But I guess standing firm gets a little draining. Sometimes...I'd still like to just fit in. Oh, but that would mean compromising on my convictions, and that - that just isn't going to happen.
Want to know what I think God wants me to do? I should make every effort on a daily basis to show love to everyone I meet. Why? Because that's the heart of the issue. That's what made me feel like I did yesterday. I wasn't feeling accepted. I wasn't feeling appreciated. I wasn't feeling loved. Are we called to show love to people we don't even know but just come into contact with in our daily lives? You bet! The Bible obviously tells us to love our neighbors as ourself. Well, I don't know about you and your neighbors...but there are many people I'd consider my neighbors who are still strangers to me. You too? Well, there you go.
God made it clear that He wanted me to stop worrying about myself. So what if I didn't get lots of warm fuzzies yesterday. That's not what my daily life should be about. I'm supposed to focus on bringing glory to Him through my interactions with others. Every. Single. Day.
And you know what else? If the people from yesterday weren't believers...then my focus really ought to be on how I can reach out to them (not how they should be reaching out to me). Every morning when my feet hit the ground, my goal should be to spread the light of Jesus to everyone I have the privilege of interacting with. God is bringing people into my life for a reason. And it's not...about...me.
Maybe it means I have to show love to the unlovely (I believe God calls that loving your enemies). Maybe it means I have to get over my own insecurities to possibly be the one person showing kindness and love to that other person today. And who cares if it means I have to be brave and stand firm on my convictions. I ought to be getting used to that by now anyway!
Amen, Jen, Amen!! :)
ReplyDeleteMay God infuse you with His strength, courage and boldness as you stand firm for Him! :)
You go girl!
Cindy :)