After all the things I heard last night at the homeschool mom's group I went to, my brain is still stretched almost beyond capacity. Well, that's not true...I mean, if I'm being accurate here, our brains can hold about 94% more than most of us ever use. That's a whole other interesting topic (like why would God make our brains so big and able to hold so much when even the smartest person here on earth uses only a fraction of their brain power? could it be so that when we get to heaven we're able to absorb and learn all we're going to throughout eternity?). Anyway, back to my point here: of course what I mean is that my brain is just working overtime to process it all. So here's the part of all the information that I'm struggling with ~ before going last night, I felt pretty good about what we're doing in homeschool. I felt I was in the zone...the comfort zone. But as I sat there listening last night to all the ideas these other moms were sharing, I was overcome with the feeling of "oh my goodness, we're not doing that" and "wow! I'd never even considered that!". It was quite overwhelming. But isn't that just like God? Just when we reach a comfort zone, He throws more lessons at us and makes us stretch ourselves again?
There are times where that kind of frustrates me. You know, I find myself questioning why I'm always having to be stretched. Why can't God just let me stay "comfortable" for a while (as if my idea of comfort holds a candle to the comfort that God has in store for me)? Especially if I start to compare myself, I don't normally have to look too far to find a non-Christian and think "But God, look at me! I'm a pretty good person! I've come a long way already, haven't I God? Look at all the things THEY have going on in their life...compared to them, aren't I OK? Can't you just let me be for a while?". Of course, that's a silly thing to do. Comparing ourselves to others for one, and thinking we're OK because we're living more Christ-like lives than non-Christians are. Well, duh! I hope so! I think since I've been a Christian since 1st grade, I sometimes feel like I missed out on something by being "good" all these years. (Again, that's the world's crazy ideas filtering in.) It's sometimes easy to forget the whole point of our time here on earth. It's not to live the wildest, craziest life and have tons of big stories to tell. It's about having fun God's way...and I think we do have a lot of fun. Sometimes the world's way looks enticing, but I usually snap back to reality fairly quickly. (Especially when I say it out loud and hear how ridiculous my argument sounds.)
So as I drag my feet to what God's trying to do in my life (sometimes it's more than feet dragging...sometimes it's me throwing a full temper tantrum), I have begun to realize a couple of very important things. First off: God's just doing what I asked Him to do! Yes, He really does hear our prayers and answer them directly. He really is the same God of Abraham and Moses and David. Amazing, isn't it? Well, one of the last times I was kind of whining to God about how I wasn't ready to have to grow and change AGAIN, He very clearly laid it on my heart that I ought to be careful what I ask for then. I mean, didn't I ask Him to do an amazing work in my life? Didn't I ask Him to show me what the next step was? I think God wants all Christians to be continually transformed and made more and more into the likeness of His only Son. Yet, I also believe that sometimes, we (Christians) get lazy. Get our focus off of the right place. Maybe even get a little rebellious. So maybe we're not feeling challenged by God to leave our comfort zone. Well, it's not that God's will for our lives has changed any. It's just at that point, we're not being very good listeners. God's blessings aren't going to fall so freely on us during those points in our lives. But that moment we are fully present in our relationship with Christ and we are really trying to become the person we know our heavenly Father wants us to be...then BOOM! I think God starts doing some BIG things in our lives.
The other thing I know is that we are all on a journey here on earth. A friend told me that her mother used to always say, "You can either be comfortable and happy, or growing and happy...but you can't be comfortable and growing at the same time." Wow. Read that again. I hate to admit that it's true (because I don't like what it's suggesting), but I have to say it's right! If you don't want to be a status quo Christian (or a status quo anything, for that matter) then you have to be prepared for moments of uncomfortableness. In fact, I'd venture to say that the bigger the places are God is planning to take you...the more feelings of uncomfortableness you should expect. It's kind of humorous how much I dislike being "uncomfortable" yet how often I ask for growth and improvement in my life. Hmmm. I feel Dr. Phil's voice in my head: "How's that workin' for ya?". So I guess I better stop being suprised when God answers so specifically. I should embrace the growth...because that means my Father in heaven really hears me and is answering me and helping me to become more like His Son! That's pretty incredible. Can you grasp that?! The God of the universe, who created the world and has it all in His hands is actually listening to you! He wants to be in a 1-on-1 relationship with you! Wow. Takes my breath away.
So as I process all the things that I learned last night and think about how God wants me to implement some of them, I'm comforted (no pun intended) in knowing that God's once again taking me out of my comfort zone. Is it possible to find comfort in the fact that some uncomfortableness is coming? It is if I'm aware of just what that means. God's taking me to some higher heights. He's opening my eyes to some new lessons. He's got great plans for me. And, if I do say so myself, He's a pretty awesome tour guide.
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