I am in desperate need of a personal battery recharging. How do you recharge your batteries? For me, it begins by having time alone. Well, no wonder I feel so emotionally empty...I haven't had alone time in so long I don't even remember the last time it was! I'm either homeschooling or working at the bank or attending kids/Dave's sports activities or taking care of other personal/family matters. Alone? What's that?! I'm having one of those days today (the last couple have been leading up to it, but today is the worst) where I feel like my nerves are going to jump right out of my skin. The anxiety and stress that is within me can't seem to be calmed. I tried doing Bible study, but the kids were right there in the room with me listening to the Go Fish Guys and dancing around (normally not a problem, but today...not so great). Then I tried my usual "quiet time with God in the shower" trick...but I was interrupted by Hannah barging in asking if she could have something and the jolt of her breaking into my "quiet zone" completely ruined the whole experience for me. I feel like a bomb ready to explode at the next loud noise or child's demand. I'm just spent. That's all there is to it.
Like most women, these feelings can't be pinpointed to just one thing. It's a combination of about 5 different things that are now so intertwined in my mind, I can't begin to process any of them individually. That's why "Women are Like Spaghetti, and Men are Like Waffles." (I don't own the book, but I heard the authors speak at a Mom's conference last year...and it's all great stuff.)
Tomorrow morning Dave is participating in a neighborhood mini triathlon. I think he's going to take the kids with him and give me a couple hours of complete solitude. At this point though, I'm just wondering how I'm going to make it that long. There are still at least 4 more hours before Dave gets home from work. Thankfully the rain has stopped and the kids are now playing outside. But you know how that works: in and out, "Mom..." this, and "Mom..." that. They're outside for the time being, but this certainly does NOT count as alone time. If I can hear them, I'm not alone. And believe me, I can hear them.
It's obvious that I need to keep better tabs on my emotional tank. I can't wait for it to be on "empty" before I try to start filling it up again. I mean, at this point, I'm just spitting fumes here. I need to get myself filled back up again and work on improving the balance in my life. All I can think about right now is just making it until Dave gets home. I think I can, I think I can,...Calgon take me away!!!
Like most women, these feelings can't be pinpointed to just one thing. It's a combination of about 5 different things that are now so intertwined in my mind, I can't begin to process any of them individually. That's why "Women are Like Spaghetti, and Men are Like Waffles." (I don't own the book, but I heard the authors speak at a Mom's conference last year...and it's all great stuff.)
Tomorrow morning Dave is participating in a neighborhood mini triathlon. I think he's going to take the kids with him and give me a couple hours of complete solitude. At this point though, I'm just wondering how I'm going to make it that long. There are still at least 4 more hours before Dave gets home from work. Thankfully the rain has stopped and the kids are now playing outside. But you know how that works: in and out, "Mom..." this, and "Mom..." that. They're outside for the time being, but this certainly does NOT count as alone time. If I can hear them, I'm not alone. And believe me, I can hear them.
It's obvious that I need to keep better tabs on my emotional tank. I can't wait for it to be on "empty" before I try to start filling it up again. I mean, at this point, I'm just spitting fumes here. I need to get myself filled back up again and work on improving the balance in my life. All I can think about right now is just making it until Dave gets home. I think I can, I think I can,...Calgon take me away!!!
Comments
Post a Comment