Well, I did it again. I lost focus of my goal. And it wasn't a temporary loss of focus, it was like a month (or more). How do I do this? I feel like the fish, Dorie, in Finding Nemo. She's so easily taken off track on their journey to find Nemo. It's pretty funny all the clueless things she does...until you see how upset Nemo's Dad is and how much he just wants to stay focused on finding his missing son. And, after all, who can blame him? But poor Dorie just can't keep it all together. That's how I feel.
The goals I have in life (like most everyone, I suppose) are many. But this one goal that keeps slipping from my eyesight is in the area of my personal health journey. This weight that has plagued me since grade school. This weight loss goal that has changed dates so many times, I hate to even put a date on it anymore. I have a very BIG weight loss goal in mind for my 40th birthday (in 15 months). But a mini weight loss goal in mind for my 39th. I've had this goal for quite a while now (at least since New Year's Day). So why is it the end of June and the goal is no closer (and may even be farther away)? Because I can't keep my eyes on the finish line. I'm reminded of this verse today:
I Corinthians 9:24 ~ Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
I want to get the prize! In this case, it would finally (after over 30 years of struggle) be winning the battle of the scale. It would be feeling younger in my 40's than I have in my 30's. It would be finally slamming the door on this stronghold in my life, and telling Satan he did NOT win this fight. Take THAT Satan. Oh, how I can't wait to say that!
So why do I keep losing focus on the goal? Part of it is lack of faith that I can even succeed. Apparently somewhere in my brain, it feels less painful to "give up" than to "fail trying." Why do I think I'm going to fail? Because that's all I've ever done in this fight. Lose. And not lose weight. Lose confidence in myself. Lose faith in the science of "move more, eat less." Lose the will to fight the fight. Lose hope. Lose...well, you get the idea.
And another reason for taking my eye off the goal is all the other "goals" I have my eye on. There's the goal of being a good homeschooling Mom, of being a good housekeeper, of being financially smart, of being a good Christian, of being a good wife/friend/whatever else I am. Sometimes it just gets to be too much! I often feel that I can only do one thing really well. Well, that's probably a huge lie from the enemy, but if it's even remotely true...I know that I need to make that "one" thing focused on me this summer. Yes, I said it. I need to be a bit selfish with my goals right now! I need a huge jump start into this weight loss journey before fall. This summer is the time to do it. Has to be. I can't keep losing focus and NOT losing weight.
So what am I waiting for? I know it's not easy, but it should be simple. Move more. Eat less. Drink more water. Stop eating after 8PM. Eat more vegetables. Eat less refined carbs. Eat healthy protein. I know the drill! This journey is SUCH a head issue for me. An emotional roller coaster. I've allowed (yes, allowed...I choose what I think about) this issue to grow so big in my brain, that it's ugly weeds are killing all the healthy thoughts. Do you have such an issue? I have a book & some DVD's by Dr. Caroline Leaf called "Who Switched Off My Brain?". She does a great job of showing how negative thoughts literally grow thorns in our mind. Whereas healthy thoughts look like healthy trees. We CAN control what we think about. The enemy might try to throw some ideas into our heads, but we have the choice of whether to continue dwelling on those negative thoughts or whether to discount them as false and move onto something else. Well, I need to stop dwelling on negative thoughts! That is true of all areas in my life, but ESPECIALLY in areas related to the topic of weight loss.
I think I'm going to re-watch those Caroline Leaf DVD's and refresh my knowledge on how to re-train my brain. I promise to be accountable to this blog in regards to my weight loss journey. Accountability is kind of a scary thing! I know what to do though. It's time to just do it. Keep that goal in my mind and pray about how to daily make wise choices to get me successfully across the finish line. Time to take daily, purposeful actions towards success in this area. The mountain I have to climb seems WAY too big. But the reward is great. Probably greater than I can even imagine.
The goals I have in life (like most everyone, I suppose) are many. But this one goal that keeps slipping from my eyesight is in the area of my personal health journey. This weight that has plagued me since grade school. This weight loss goal that has changed dates so many times, I hate to even put a date on it anymore. I have a very BIG weight loss goal in mind for my 40th birthday (in 15 months). But a mini weight loss goal in mind for my 39th. I've had this goal for quite a while now (at least since New Year's Day). So why is it the end of June and the goal is no closer (and may even be farther away)? Because I can't keep my eyes on the finish line. I'm reminded of this verse today:
I Corinthians 9:24 ~ Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
I want to get the prize! In this case, it would finally (after over 30 years of struggle) be winning the battle of the scale. It would be feeling younger in my 40's than I have in my 30's. It would be finally slamming the door on this stronghold in my life, and telling Satan he did NOT win this fight. Take THAT Satan. Oh, how I can't wait to say that!
So why do I keep losing focus on the goal? Part of it is lack of faith that I can even succeed. Apparently somewhere in my brain, it feels less painful to "give up" than to "fail trying." Why do I think I'm going to fail? Because that's all I've ever done in this fight. Lose. And not lose weight. Lose confidence in myself. Lose faith in the science of "move more, eat less." Lose the will to fight the fight. Lose hope. Lose...well, you get the idea.
And another reason for taking my eye off the goal is all the other "goals" I have my eye on. There's the goal of being a good homeschooling Mom, of being a good housekeeper, of being financially smart, of being a good Christian, of being a good wife/friend/whatever else I am. Sometimes it just gets to be too much! I often feel that I can only do one thing really well. Well, that's probably a huge lie from the enemy, but if it's even remotely true...I know that I need to make that "one" thing focused on me this summer. Yes, I said it. I need to be a bit selfish with my goals right now! I need a huge jump start into this weight loss journey before fall. This summer is the time to do it. Has to be. I can't keep losing focus and NOT losing weight.
So what am I waiting for? I know it's not easy, but it should be simple. Move more. Eat less. Drink more water. Stop eating after 8PM. Eat more vegetables. Eat less refined carbs. Eat healthy protein. I know the drill! This journey is SUCH a head issue for me. An emotional roller coaster. I've allowed (yes, allowed...I choose what I think about) this issue to grow so big in my brain, that it's ugly weeds are killing all the healthy thoughts. Do you have such an issue? I have a book & some DVD's by Dr. Caroline Leaf called "Who Switched Off My Brain?". She does a great job of showing how negative thoughts literally grow thorns in our mind. Whereas healthy thoughts look like healthy trees. We CAN control what we think about. The enemy might try to throw some ideas into our heads, but we have the choice of whether to continue dwelling on those negative thoughts or whether to discount them as false and move onto something else. Well, I need to stop dwelling on negative thoughts! That is true of all areas in my life, but ESPECIALLY in areas related to the topic of weight loss.
I think I'm going to re-watch those Caroline Leaf DVD's and refresh my knowledge on how to re-train my brain. I promise to be accountable to this blog in regards to my weight loss journey. Accountability is kind of a scary thing! I know what to do though. It's time to just do it. Keep that goal in my mind and pray about how to daily make wise choices to get me successfully across the finish line. Time to take daily, purposeful actions towards success in this area. The mountain I have to climb seems WAY too big. But the reward is great. Probably greater than I can even imagine.
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